Tuesday, November 20, 2007

i don't know if there's a point, but it's a post-eh

So I've been sitting on my motivation these last couple of weeks. Not in the way that it's lighting a spark underneath me, but in the way that I'm smothering it. I've had a lot on my mind. There's been some deep thoughts, thorough conversations and progressive, or maybe not so progressive actions. I've been thinking about writing a new blog. I wanted to write something that compliments my attitude lately; something that explains my current life.

I've tried to define myself; challenging what makes me...me. I started to look into my attributes, and trying to see how I value them. I probed the question, slightly prompted by a classmate of mine, of why I have the faith in Christ the way that I do. It's a good question. One who's answer can better me as a person. I thought I could get a great post out of it, but truthfully, it's nothing lengthy. I can elaborate plenty but I believe, and this phrase is very much inspired by a good friend of mine, that authentic hope leads to belief, which leads to actions of faith. I have my faith because I have that hope in something more important, and a belief that Christ was right, and faith that betters me, you and a whole lot of other people.

Truthfully, I've had a pretty...uh..."rough" week, not for lack of a better word but the lack of the will to use profanity. I feel like I'm getting so close to the end of a chapter in my life, and I can't wait for it. I have this intuition, this instinct that when things get hard you fight back, but when you snap, it's game over. I seen over my life, whether it's the right thing to do or not, that if you can't take it anymore, you take some more. But later, when you finally find out that it was too much, you run away. I've come to a breaking point, and I'm ready to leave. Take a break from my life.

My attitude on life has changed so much. It's kind of a "King Kong ain't got s*** on me" attitude. You know, more you a "F" you and all of this too. I hope that doesn't come of the wong way.

So I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I've had plenty to blog about. There's just been too much to conprehend. You know the feeling?

4 comments:

Phillip said...

Indeed you've given an answer that I can truly respect. If you think that particular belief set will better you as a person then by all means believe and practice it to the best of your ability. I do, however, encourage you consider the matter of religion closely and question what some honestly well-intentioned people will say. Religion is something you should only try to make yourself better with, and the second you attempt to 'better' someone else with it - either directly or simply by offering an alternative of damnation and torture - I fear I view that as a poor decision.

I am sorry you're having a rather unenjoyable week or so though. At least there's Thanksgiving break to cool down and make sure your head is securely on your body. 'Least we can all be thankful for that.

Andy said...

hey man. sorry it took me so long to comment this. i read it the other night but it was one of those things where my mind was too divided to really read anything more than a sentence so i wasnt able to comment you then. but i did see it. but now i am commenting it anyways...ya so i think you are a good man. i will always say that. one of the best i know. ya i know what you mean about the motivation as well. i have sort of been having a similar thing. but i think i will blog after this. and this is a very weird time for all of us i think. you are not alone. everyone just wants to be done with high school but its easier said than done. dont worry. we will get there. i agree with you about faith and stuff too. word. well blog soon and read mine. by the way i think that it is really cool that you are talking with phil about stuff like religion and such. word. talk to you later eh

Erik Haagenson said...

Certainly do.

Andy said...

i am ready for a new post