Monday, April 7, 2008

just ignore this

I'm back in school now. It doesn't feel great but I got to tell you it's not that bad. I don't do much. As a second semester senior, I've really checked out. I've bought into the idea of senioritous. One of my teachers last year had me convinced that it was a bunch of bull. I thought that it was just an excuse for not working. But now that I'm here, I've found myself trying less without thinking about it. Almost like my subconscious knows that I'm close to done, and in turn allows myself to get a bad case of senioritous. Or maybe I just choose to not think about it because if I just don't think about it, I don't have to address it like a problem, I can simply go about my normal day being a senior. Ignorance is bliss, I'm learning that slowly.

On a side note, Aaron has committed to not eating anymore meat. Well, he's calling himself a free-gan. He will eat meat, but tries his damndest not to. I don't know how he does it living in the Haagenson household, but he does. It's impressive. I talked to him about it a little bit. He doesn't do it because of animal cruelty, well at least that's not enough alone. He does it because the production of meat in general is a major contributer to the harm being done on our environment. I decided right then and there that it was just easier for me to not think about it. Because as soon as I start to think about it, I'll probably start to think that I to should try to not eat meat as much. Good and bad..for me, mainly bad. I eat meat. I eat a lot of meat. Mainly pork in any sort. I would like to continue enjoying my diet with meat in it. If I were to think about the ramifications of my gluttony, I would stop eating meat which that defeats my whole value system. Right?...right. Ignorance is bliss.

Ignorance is bliss can really bite you in the ass. If you let it get out of control, you could live a life that you may have enjoyed, but in retrospect, went nowhere. Here's my biggest struggle. As I say those very words, I start to think to myself, "just don't think about it". Because If I just don't think about how I choose to be ignorant toward certain things, then I don't have to see it as a problem nor do I have to fix it. My ignorance of my ignorance is my ultimate bliss. It's an ongoing cycle that never ends.