I doesn't feel much different. Being out of school for the summer I mean. I came home after the last bell of my junior year, and took a nap. I'm boring. I slept for about two hours. Strait up just slept. Talk about some afternoon delight. Then I woke up, watched scrubs on Comedy Central and drank some ice tea. I don't plan on doing much for the rest of the day, I have to go drop off the Maxima at the repair shop, her clutch is toast. That's about it though. Man I love summer.
I leave for New Zealand in a few days. It hasn't hit me yet though. I think once I spend thirteen hours on a plane, then I'll realize that I'm going somewhere. I've always dreamed about New Zealand. I really have. I've seen pictures on Erik's and Chris's blog. I'm sure you have too. Though, a wise man once told me that it's not what you do, but who you do it with. I can't wait to see my brother. He really is a huge inspiration for me. I can remember when I was little, I would copy him and it drove him up the wall, but I hope he realizes that it's because, well, I think he's the man. Which he is. I can't wait to do some awesome things in New Zealand, but it's going to be so much awesomer-yep I said awesomer-it's going to be so much awesomer when I get to experience New Zealand with such great people. I can't wait to smile and laugh and remember such experiences for the rest of my life. I know that New Zealand will not just offer great things to do and see, but plentiful opportunities for me and those around me to grow closer together. All in all, I'm stoked.
That's it, I just wanted to let you know that It's officially summer for me, and I'm really excited to go to New Zealand.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
8 hours of "Dog Problems"
B is for believing you'd always be there for me
E is for everything, even when we see it through
C, C is for seeing through you, you are a fake
Which brings me to A, because, because you always run away
I never finish phrases I misspell
An open arm's a prison cell
When I said I hate what I've become
I lied, I hated who I was
So you start to wonder
About the pain in my throat
Then don't you ever, no never ever
Speak for someone you don't know
I had that song in my head for eight straight hours. I heard that writing it down helps get it out. It's called "Dog Problems" by the Format. Their pretty great.
We just finished reading Of Mice and Men in English class yesterday. One girl said that it was too pessimistic. I say it's more realistic. Steinbeck maybe a pessimist, but the world we live can be filled with terrible things, so I support Steinbeck's ending. It's real, that's what makes it believable. I think people want a story that makes them feel that no matter what, everything will be alright. I hope they know that's not true.
Sometimes things just suck. Sometimes things happen that your not okay with. It's easy to get mad. To feel sorry for your self and blame it on someone else. And in certain situations, I think that person you blame, can very easily be God. "If God loved me so much, why did he stop this from happening?" And you turn you back because there is no answer. There simply isn't. Your not okay with people dying too young, or innocent people becoming victims of rape or murder. Your not okay with it and neither am I. Life sucks sometimes.
I'm glad I'm not a pastor, or youth leader or something like that. I couldn't handle the pressure of coming up with the answer when someone comes in who has been affected by something terrible. As they cry in utter confusion, shock and frustration, I couldn't imagine telling them "Well, God says something good will always come out everything" and that "new doors can be opened". I'm not going to lie. New doors may be opened, but the one that was just closed meant too much to them. And for that, they turn on God and ask why. They ask "what the hell?". And I can't blame them for that.
I'm not a very knowledgeable man about the Bible. I read it, I interpret what I can, but that doesn't mean I know what the Bible says on everything. I can only repeat what I have heard from others and include my own remarks. With that, I don't think that God gives us an answer to "what the hell?". I don't think the Bible gives us a authentic reason for terrible things in the world. We can only say what can become of this. We can only hope for the best. But I do think that God--no matter what it looks like--I think that God isn't okay with it either. The only one that cares more about the ones you love than yourself, is God. He sees terrible things in this world and cries harder then you could imagine. He sees your sister, your brother die, and he's crying with you. He sees a women become a victim of rape, and cries every time she remembers that day. He's not okay with it either. He doesn't want it to happen. He didn't want us to ignore him in the beginning. He doesn't want to be separated from us. He doesn't want us to be hurt. He doesn't want life to suck, but sometimes it does. Sometimes life isn't fair, and God isn't a big fan of that.
If God did give us a reason, if he told you why these things happen, would that make you more okay with it. Would you understand why even? He might be able to tell you, but you probably can't understand what he just said. Your not okay with it, and you probably never will be and that's fine. That's a good thing actually, but don't forget that God can make things happen. When we stop asking why, and start asking what next, is when we grow and heal. We learn mature and move closer to God in leaps and bounds. The time it takes you to overcome the question of why isn't the important part. The important part is that you do it.
I'm going to cry when something sucky happens to me. I'm going to be shocked and frustrated and probably pretty angry with God. And God isn't going to feel much different about the situation. But when something does happen, I hope that I can pray for comfort instead of understanding. I hope that I can pray for faith instead of answers. Because faith is letting go, not holding on. If I let go, and trust God to steer my life into growth and healing, then that's when my world turns from pessimistic to optimistic. That's when I can read the stories that make me feel like everything will be alright. Maybe Of Mice and Men would of ended different in that kind of world.
Thanks for listening to the words of a seventeen year old. Their not profound, but they help me to create new ideas, and in turn, grow in my faith. I hope my words can be just one brick in the the brick wall.
E is for everything, even when we see it through
C, C is for seeing through you, you are a fake
Which brings me to A, because, because you always run away
I never finish phrases I misspell
An open arm's a prison cell
When I said I hate what I've become
I lied, I hated who I was
So you start to wonder
About the pain in my throat
Then don't you ever, no never ever
Speak for someone you don't know
I had that song in my head for eight straight hours. I heard that writing it down helps get it out. It's called "Dog Problems" by the Format. Their pretty great.
We just finished reading Of Mice and Men in English class yesterday. One girl said that it was too pessimistic. I say it's more realistic. Steinbeck maybe a pessimist, but the world we live can be filled with terrible things, so I support Steinbeck's ending. It's real, that's what makes it believable. I think people want a story that makes them feel that no matter what, everything will be alright. I hope they know that's not true.
Sometimes things just suck. Sometimes things happen that your not okay with. It's easy to get mad. To feel sorry for your self and blame it on someone else. And in certain situations, I think that person you blame, can very easily be God. "If God loved me so much, why did he stop this from happening?" And you turn you back because there is no answer. There simply isn't. Your not okay with people dying too young, or innocent people becoming victims of rape or murder. Your not okay with it and neither am I. Life sucks sometimes.
I'm glad I'm not a pastor, or youth leader or something like that. I couldn't handle the pressure of coming up with the answer when someone comes in who has been affected by something terrible. As they cry in utter confusion, shock and frustration, I couldn't imagine telling them "Well, God says something good will always come out everything" and that "new doors can be opened". I'm not going to lie. New doors may be opened, but the one that was just closed meant too much to them. And for that, they turn on God and ask why. They ask "what the hell?". And I can't blame them for that.
I'm not a very knowledgeable man about the Bible. I read it, I interpret what I can, but that doesn't mean I know what the Bible says on everything. I can only repeat what I have heard from others and include my own remarks. With that, I don't think that God gives us an answer to "what the hell?". I don't think the Bible gives us a authentic reason for terrible things in the world. We can only say what can become of this. We can only hope for the best. But I do think that God--no matter what it looks like--I think that God isn't okay with it either. The only one that cares more about the ones you love than yourself, is God. He sees terrible things in this world and cries harder then you could imagine. He sees your sister, your brother die, and he's crying with you. He sees a women become a victim of rape, and cries every time she remembers that day. He's not okay with it either. He doesn't want it to happen. He didn't want us to ignore him in the beginning. He doesn't want to be separated from us. He doesn't want us to be hurt. He doesn't want life to suck, but sometimes it does. Sometimes life isn't fair, and God isn't a big fan of that.
If God did give us a reason, if he told you why these things happen, would that make you more okay with it. Would you understand why even? He might be able to tell you, but you probably can't understand what he just said. Your not okay with it, and you probably never will be and that's fine. That's a good thing actually, but don't forget that God can make things happen. When we stop asking why, and start asking what next, is when we grow and heal. We learn mature and move closer to God in leaps and bounds. The time it takes you to overcome the question of why isn't the important part. The important part is that you do it.
I'm going to cry when something sucky happens to me. I'm going to be shocked and frustrated and probably pretty angry with God. And God isn't going to feel much different about the situation. But when something does happen, I hope that I can pray for comfort instead of understanding. I hope that I can pray for faith instead of answers. Because faith is letting go, not holding on. If I let go, and trust God to steer my life into growth and healing, then that's when my world turns from pessimistic to optimistic. That's when I can read the stories that make me feel like everything will be alright. Maybe Of Mice and Men would of ended different in that kind of world.
Thanks for listening to the words of a seventeen year old. Their not profound, but they help me to create new ideas, and in turn, grow in my faith. I hope my words can be just one brick in the the brick wall.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
top twenty beer comsuming countries
Don't ask how I came upon this information. Just, please, enjoy some of life's simple pleasures. It at least made me chuckle.
The number following the country is the number of liters per year that that country consumes. It doesn't take into consideration population. Correction-does take into consideration population. I'm so silly.
rank-country-L/yr
1. Czech Republic 156.9
2. Republic of Ireland 131.1
3. Germany 115.8
4. Australia 109.9
5. Austria 108.3
6. United Kingdom 99.0
7. Belgium 93.0
8. Denmark 89.9
9. Finland 85.0
10. Luxembourg 84.4
11. Slovakia 84.1
12. Spain 83.8
13. United States 81.6
14. Croatia 81.2
15. Netherlands 79.0
16. New Zealand 77.0
17. Hungary 75.3
18. Poland 69.1
19. Canada 68.3
20. Portugal 59.6
Slightly disappointed at the number one spot. Ireland let me down a little. Wait a tick, I thought that Luxembourg was a city. United States squeaked passed Croatia at #13. God bless America. Nice to see that New Zealand, where my brother currently resides, has found its way to #16. Well done NZ. Never would have guessed that our red neck neighbors to the north would have been so low on the count, aye. Has anyone ever seen Strange Brew?
The number following the country is the number of liters per year that that country consumes. It doesn't take into consideration population. Correction-does take into consideration population. I'm so silly.
rank-country-L/yr
1. Czech Republic 156.9
2. Republic of Ireland 131.1
3. Germany 115.8
4. Australia 109.9
5. Austria 108.3
6. United Kingdom 99.0
7. Belgium 93.0
8. Denmark 89.9
9. Finland 85.0
10. Luxembourg 84.4
11. Slovakia 84.1
12. Spain 83.8
13. United States 81.6
14. Croatia 81.2
15. Netherlands 79.0
16. New Zealand 77.0
17. Hungary 75.3
18. Poland 69.1
19. Canada 68.3
20. Portugal 59.6
Slightly disappointed at the number one spot. Ireland let me down a little. Wait a tick, I thought that Luxembourg was a city. United States squeaked passed Croatia at #13. God bless America. Nice to see that New Zealand, where my brother currently resides, has found its way to #16. Well done NZ. Never would have guessed that our red neck neighbors to the north would have been so low on the count, aye. Has anyone ever seen Strange Brew?
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
AgNO3+skin→brown stain
I have a large stain on my middle finger. It's brown. It's splotchy. It won't go away. The D-Mar (aka Dr. Martyr) says that it will take ten to fourteen days for it to come out. It's actually silver nitrate , AgNO3, that has reacted with sunlight to create a brownish-purplish-blackish-grayish color. The same chemical is used in black and white photography film.
I'm not sure why I told you about that. I was looking at my hands, resting gently on the keyboard, trying to think of a profound thing to post when I saw the stain glaring at me. I look like a preschooler who just learned how to use a marker, and didn't use it so successfully. People give me the stink eye when they see my stain. It hurts my feelings. I wish I could yell at them, "I know...I have a large brown stain on my finger and it makes me look ridiculous! But rest assured, it is only silver nitrate that I spilled on my finger during Chemistry and it will vanish within two weeks!" But then I would look more ridiculous then before.
So here's my far out connection. Tattoo's are like stains. It's true. They are splotchy, brown stains that won't go away...ever. Yet, as before, tattoo's are given a bad rap. I have a brown stain from chemistry class. That's all. Not because I'm deficient at using a marker. I want a tattoo. If I got one, it would be because I want to begin to start to define who I am. I want to have a sense of self identification. Though, some people, who have authority over most of my decisions, see it otherwise. They say that it's ridiculous to put ink in your skin. My brown stain, as Dr. Martyr put it, is a "badge of great courage". A tattoo, to me, is a badge, a symbol, almost like a scar that I give myself to identify who I am as a person.
That wasn't profound, I know. Give me a break, I'm only seventeen. I had to say what I had to say. I'll leave the profound words up to those who can write them.
I'm not sure why I told you about that. I was looking at my hands, resting gently on the keyboard, trying to think of a profound thing to post when I saw the stain glaring at me. I look like a preschooler who just learned how to use a marker, and didn't use it so successfully. People give me the stink eye when they see my stain. It hurts my feelings. I wish I could yell at them, "I know...I have a large brown stain on my finger and it makes me look ridiculous! But rest assured, it is only silver nitrate that I spilled on my finger during Chemistry and it will vanish within two weeks!" But then I would look more ridiculous then before.
So here's my far out connection. Tattoo's are like stains. It's true. They are splotchy, brown stains that won't go away...ever. Yet, as before, tattoo's are given a bad rap. I have a brown stain from chemistry class. That's all. Not because I'm deficient at using a marker. I want a tattoo. If I got one, it would be because I want to begin to start to define who I am. I want to have a sense of self identification. Though, some people, who have authority over most of my decisions, see it otherwise. They say that it's ridiculous to put ink in your skin. My brown stain, as Dr. Martyr put it, is a "badge of great courage". A tattoo, to me, is a badge, a symbol, almost like a scar that I give myself to identify who I am as a person.
That wasn't profound, I know. Give me a break, I'm only seventeen. I had to say what I had to say. I'll leave the profound words up to those who can write them.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
ranting...there's nothing better to do
I regret to inform you that I, Ryan John Haagenson, was completely incorrect. It's hard for me to admit it, yet, after an email I received from Chipotle, I found out that the recipe for the chicken at Chipotle hasn't changed. Only the prices. I hope that you will continue to enjoy Chipotle burritos as you always have. (and I'm sure you didn't need my advice on that one, you probably have been eating Chipotle like you always have)
I have to ride in a bus today. I'm going to Colorado Springs. I plan to do homework on the way, but if you know me, you know that I really do get quite car sick if I try to do something while riding in a car. I don't want to puke. My team--whom I'm riding down with, hence the whole bus thing, which, by the way, looks like a space ship--My team has a game scheduled. The first round of the State 5A playoffs; Cheyenne Mountain vs. Alexander Dawson. Our top three scorers aren't playing. One with a torn ACL, one with a torn ligament that holds your knee cap in place, and one who is...well...sick. We started the year with four captains, and now we are down to one. Ouch!
This game that we are suppose to have, though, is scheduled to be played in Colorado Springs, which is right int he middle of a snow storm and thunder storm. Here's my deal. I'm excited to play, but if I have to ride down there, suit up, warm up, hear the game is canceled, get back on the bus and drive back home, I am going to freak. And here's my thinking, Cheyenne Mountain wants us to do exactly that. Even if they knew our game was going to be canceled, they would still have us drive 2 hours to tell us so. That way, we as a team, are irritated, tired and not in the playoff mindset anymore. That would piss me off.
One other thing that pisses me off. The fact that this is my first post in over two weeks. I am a weak sister. Sorry if you actually were waiting on me to post. I don't think anyone really was though so it's not a big deal.
I have to ride in a bus today. I'm going to Colorado Springs. I plan to do homework on the way, but if you know me, you know that I really do get quite car sick if I try to do something while riding in a car. I don't want to puke. My team--whom I'm riding down with, hence the whole bus thing, which, by the way, looks like a space ship--My team has a game scheduled. The first round of the State 5A playoffs; Cheyenne Mountain vs. Alexander Dawson. Our top three scorers aren't playing. One with a torn ACL, one with a torn ligament that holds your knee cap in place, and one who is...well...sick. We started the year with four captains, and now we are down to one. Ouch!
This game that we are suppose to have, though, is scheduled to be played in Colorado Springs, which is right int he middle of a snow storm and thunder storm. Here's my deal. I'm excited to play, but if I have to ride down there, suit up, warm up, hear the game is canceled, get back on the bus and drive back home, I am going to freak. And here's my thinking, Cheyenne Mountain wants us to do exactly that. Even if they knew our game was going to be canceled, they would still have us drive 2 hours to tell us so. That way, we as a team, are irritated, tired and not in the playoff mindset anymore. That would piss me off.
One other thing that pisses me off. The fact that this is my first post in over two weeks. I am a weak sister. Sorry if you actually were waiting on me to post. I don't think anyone really was though so it's not a big deal.
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