Ah hell...here we go again. I'm sitting here in a exhausting, and near apathetic, loss for words. I want to write, I do. And yet, I find it hard to focus my thoughts. There seems to be nothing to write about. The Shins are singing through the speakers to the left and right of me, hands burning from the unnumbing process that I have to dread through (it's unbelievable cold outside). What is a man to write about? Complaints? Sure, but those are easy. Sum up my life as in the past month or so? Could, but honestly, those can be the most boring blogs to read. Damn it, I did it again. I had nothing to say and so I drug on about nothing. Here's the line...here's me. (making swinging motion with one arm and doing to walking man motion across it with the other) Deep breathes, count to ten. Focus....sigh....just focus. Nope, didn't work. Never does.
Sometimes I just wish life would take a day off. A day that Nothing happens. No one says anything, no one goes anywhere. I just need to step back, look at myself. Look at my life. Make an assessment in sorts. I think that I've had many chances to grow and learn from what's been going on in my life recently with family, friends, school, but I never want to think about them. They're just so emotionally draining. I heard somewhere that it's good for a person to go off by themselves and just be alone. Meditate, pray, just breath. You know, four times a minute like we're suppose to. I heard that it's actually biblical. It's true, I guess. Jesus went off on his own all the time, right? I don't know, maybe I don't give myself any real alone time. I usually just take naps.
It was speratic and quite choppy, but so are my thoughts most the time. Thanks for listening, or reading I guess. I think that maybe my blogs would be better when read aloud. Just a thought.
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3 comments:
Make an assesment. You ever drank bailys out of a shoe? you wanna to go a club where people wee on eachother. lol. sorry that line you wrote made me think of that. anyways, ryan, i like reading your blog. i have been sad not to have anything new to read from you. every day i check your blog and every day for the last month i saw the same blog over and over. i was surprised to see a new blog. but it was a good surpise. i did a little dance. except i didnt. or did it????? ha just joking. maybe in my head i did. what i am trying to say is i like reading your blogs and i liked this one. i think you just think in your mind that people will think your blogs are boring. its alright i have similar thoughts sometimes too. i guess we just got to try to get past them. i agree with you about alone time and such. it would be good. i get that from running sometimes which is good. wow i was about to just tell you about my run today. but i didnt. gosh i write a lot. i am done. good blog ryan. keep it up
Your blogs are definitely not boring. I had a fun time with you in Mexico. I hope your semester, um, last ever of high school helps you get some answers. Miss you bro, can't wait to hang out with you in the summa summatime.
Ry- I liked your bit about alone time, or the lack there of. When I lived in Colorado and New York before that I had my own place that I would go to when I wanted to be alone. I've never found one since I've been in Montana and it drives me crazy. I've never really thought about that until now. Also I would have read your blog aloud but I'm on campus. Maybe next time I will if there is someone annoying sitting next to me.
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