I doesn't feel much different. Being out of school for the summer I mean. I came home after the last bell of my junior year, and took a nap. I'm boring. I slept for about two hours. Strait up just slept. Talk about some afternoon delight. Then I woke up, watched scrubs on Comedy Central and drank some ice tea. I don't plan on doing much for the rest of the day, I have to go drop off the Maxima at the repair shop, her clutch is toast. That's about it though. Man I love summer.
I leave for New Zealand in a few days. It hasn't hit me yet though. I think once I spend thirteen hours on a plane, then I'll realize that I'm going somewhere. I've always dreamed about New Zealand. I really have. I've seen pictures on Erik's and Chris's blog. I'm sure you have too. Though, a wise man once told me that it's not what you do, but who you do it with. I can't wait to see my brother. He really is a huge inspiration for me. I can remember when I was little, I would copy him and it drove him up the wall, but I hope he realizes that it's because, well, I think he's the man. Which he is. I can't wait to do some awesome things in New Zealand, but it's going to be so much awesomer-yep I said awesomer-it's going to be so much awesomer when I get to experience New Zealand with such great people. I can't wait to smile and laugh and remember such experiences for the rest of my life. I know that New Zealand will not just offer great things to do and see, but plentiful opportunities for me and those around me to grow closer together. All in all, I'm stoked.
That's it, I just wanted to let you know that It's officially summer for me, and I'm really excited to go to New Zealand.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
8 hours of "Dog Problems"
B is for believing you'd always be there for me
E is for everything, even when we see it through
C, C is for seeing through you, you are a fake
Which brings me to A, because, because you always run away
I never finish phrases I misspell
An open arm's a prison cell
When I said I hate what I've become
I lied, I hated who I was
So you start to wonder
About the pain in my throat
Then don't you ever, no never ever
Speak for someone you don't know
I had that song in my head for eight straight hours. I heard that writing it down helps get it out. It's called "Dog Problems" by the Format. Their pretty great.
We just finished reading Of Mice and Men in English class yesterday. One girl said that it was too pessimistic. I say it's more realistic. Steinbeck maybe a pessimist, but the world we live can be filled with terrible things, so I support Steinbeck's ending. It's real, that's what makes it believable. I think people want a story that makes them feel that no matter what, everything will be alright. I hope they know that's not true.
Sometimes things just suck. Sometimes things happen that your not okay with. It's easy to get mad. To feel sorry for your self and blame it on someone else. And in certain situations, I think that person you blame, can very easily be God. "If God loved me so much, why did he stop this from happening?" And you turn you back because there is no answer. There simply isn't. Your not okay with people dying too young, or innocent people becoming victims of rape or murder. Your not okay with it and neither am I. Life sucks sometimes.
I'm glad I'm not a pastor, or youth leader or something like that. I couldn't handle the pressure of coming up with the answer when someone comes in who has been affected by something terrible. As they cry in utter confusion, shock and frustration, I couldn't imagine telling them "Well, God says something good will always come out everything" and that "new doors can be opened". I'm not going to lie. New doors may be opened, but the one that was just closed meant too much to them. And for that, they turn on God and ask why. They ask "what the hell?". And I can't blame them for that.
I'm not a very knowledgeable man about the Bible. I read it, I interpret what I can, but that doesn't mean I know what the Bible says on everything. I can only repeat what I have heard from others and include my own remarks. With that, I don't think that God gives us an answer to "what the hell?". I don't think the Bible gives us a authentic reason for terrible things in the world. We can only say what can become of this. We can only hope for the best. But I do think that God--no matter what it looks like--I think that God isn't okay with it either. The only one that cares more about the ones you love than yourself, is God. He sees terrible things in this world and cries harder then you could imagine. He sees your sister, your brother die, and he's crying with you. He sees a women become a victim of rape, and cries every time she remembers that day. He's not okay with it either. He doesn't want it to happen. He didn't want us to ignore him in the beginning. He doesn't want to be separated from us. He doesn't want us to be hurt. He doesn't want life to suck, but sometimes it does. Sometimes life isn't fair, and God isn't a big fan of that.
If God did give us a reason, if he told you why these things happen, would that make you more okay with it. Would you understand why even? He might be able to tell you, but you probably can't understand what he just said. Your not okay with it, and you probably never will be and that's fine. That's a good thing actually, but don't forget that God can make things happen. When we stop asking why, and start asking what next, is when we grow and heal. We learn mature and move closer to God in leaps and bounds. The time it takes you to overcome the question of why isn't the important part. The important part is that you do it.
I'm going to cry when something sucky happens to me. I'm going to be shocked and frustrated and probably pretty angry with God. And God isn't going to feel much different about the situation. But when something does happen, I hope that I can pray for comfort instead of understanding. I hope that I can pray for faith instead of answers. Because faith is letting go, not holding on. If I let go, and trust God to steer my life into growth and healing, then that's when my world turns from pessimistic to optimistic. That's when I can read the stories that make me feel like everything will be alright. Maybe Of Mice and Men would of ended different in that kind of world.
Thanks for listening to the words of a seventeen year old. Their not profound, but they help me to create new ideas, and in turn, grow in my faith. I hope my words can be just one brick in the the brick wall.
E is for everything, even when we see it through
C, C is for seeing through you, you are a fake
Which brings me to A, because, because you always run away
I never finish phrases I misspell
An open arm's a prison cell
When I said I hate what I've become
I lied, I hated who I was
So you start to wonder
About the pain in my throat
Then don't you ever, no never ever
Speak for someone you don't know
I had that song in my head for eight straight hours. I heard that writing it down helps get it out. It's called "Dog Problems" by the Format. Their pretty great.
We just finished reading Of Mice and Men in English class yesterday. One girl said that it was too pessimistic. I say it's more realistic. Steinbeck maybe a pessimist, but the world we live can be filled with terrible things, so I support Steinbeck's ending. It's real, that's what makes it believable. I think people want a story that makes them feel that no matter what, everything will be alright. I hope they know that's not true.
Sometimes things just suck. Sometimes things happen that your not okay with. It's easy to get mad. To feel sorry for your self and blame it on someone else. And in certain situations, I think that person you blame, can very easily be God. "If God loved me so much, why did he stop this from happening?" And you turn you back because there is no answer. There simply isn't. Your not okay with people dying too young, or innocent people becoming victims of rape or murder. Your not okay with it and neither am I. Life sucks sometimes.
I'm glad I'm not a pastor, or youth leader or something like that. I couldn't handle the pressure of coming up with the answer when someone comes in who has been affected by something terrible. As they cry in utter confusion, shock and frustration, I couldn't imagine telling them "Well, God says something good will always come out everything" and that "new doors can be opened". I'm not going to lie. New doors may be opened, but the one that was just closed meant too much to them. And for that, they turn on God and ask why. They ask "what the hell?". And I can't blame them for that.
I'm not a very knowledgeable man about the Bible. I read it, I interpret what I can, but that doesn't mean I know what the Bible says on everything. I can only repeat what I have heard from others and include my own remarks. With that, I don't think that God gives us an answer to "what the hell?". I don't think the Bible gives us a authentic reason for terrible things in the world. We can only say what can become of this. We can only hope for the best. But I do think that God--no matter what it looks like--I think that God isn't okay with it either. The only one that cares more about the ones you love than yourself, is God. He sees terrible things in this world and cries harder then you could imagine. He sees your sister, your brother die, and he's crying with you. He sees a women become a victim of rape, and cries every time she remembers that day. He's not okay with it either. He doesn't want it to happen. He didn't want us to ignore him in the beginning. He doesn't want to be separated from us. He doesn't want us to be hurt. He doesn't want life to suck, but sometimes it does. Sometimes life isn't fair, and God isn't a big fan of that.
If God did give us a reason, if he told you why these things happen, would that make you more okay with it. Would you understand why even? He might be able to tell you, but you probably can't understand what he just said. Your not okay with it, and you probably never will be and that's fine. That's a good thing actually, but don't forget that God can make things happen. When we stop asking why, and start asking what next, is when we grow and heal. We learn mature and move closer to God in leaps and bounds. The time it takes you to overcome the question of why isn't the important part. The important part is that you do it.
I'm going to cry when something sucky happens to me. I'm going to be shocked and frustrated and probably pretty angry with God. And God isn't going to feel much different about the situation. But when something does happen, I hope that I can pray for comfort instead of understanding. I hope that I can pray for faith instead of answers. Because faith is letting go, not holding on. If I let go, and trust God to steer my life into growth and healing, then that's when my world turns from pessimistic to optimistic. That's when I can read the stories that make me feel like everything will be alright. Maybe Of Mice and Men would of ended different in that kind of world.
Thanks for listening to the words of a seventeen year old. Their not profound, but they help me to create new ideas, and in turn, grow in my faith. I hope my words can be just one brick in the the brick wall.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
top twenty beer comsuming countries
Don't ask how I came upon this information. Just, please, enjoy some of life's simple pleasures. It at least made me chuckle.
The number following the country is the number of liters per year that that country consumes. It doesn't take into consideration population. Correction-does take into consideration population. I'm so silly.
rank-country-L/yr
1. Czech Republic 156.9
2. Republic of Ireland 131.1
3. Germany 115.8
4. Australia 109.9
5. Austria 108.3
6. United Kingdom 99.0
7. Belgium 93.0
8. Denmark 89.9
9. Finland 85.0
10. Luxembourg 84.4
11. Slovakia 84.1
12. Spain 83.8
13. United States 81.6
14. Croatia 81.2
15. Netherlands 79.0
16. New Zealand 77.0
17. Hungary 75.3
18. Poland 69.1
19. Canada 68.3
20. Portugal 59.6
Slightly disappointed at the number one spot. Ireland let me down a little. Wait a tick, I thought that Luxembourg was a city. United States squeaked passed Croatia at #13. God bless America. Nice to see that New Zealand, where my brother currently resides, has found its way to #16. Well done NZ. Never would have guessed that our red neck neighbors to the north would have been so low on the count, aye. Has anyone ever seen Strange Brew?
The number following the country is the number of liters per year that that country consumes. It doesn't take into consideration population. Correction-does take into consideration population. I'm so silly.
rank-country-L/yr
1. Czech Republic 156.9
2. Republic of Ireland 131.1
3. Germany 115.8
4. Australia 109.9
5. Austria 108.3
6. United Kingdom 99.0
7. Belgium 93.0
8. Denmark 89.9
9. Finland 85.0
10. Luxembourg 84.4
11. Slovakia 84.1
12. Spain 83.8
13. United States 81.6
14. Croatia 81.2
15. Netherlands 79.0
16. New Zealand 77.0
17. Hungary 75.3
18. Poland 69.1
19. Canada 68.3
20. Portugal 59.6
Slightly disappointed at the number one spot. Ireland let me down a little. Wait a tick, I thought that Luxembourg was a city. United States squeaked passed Croatia at #13. God bless America. Nice to see that New Zealand, where my brother currently resides, has found its way to #16. Well done NZ. Never would have guessed that our red neck neighbors to the north would have been so low on the count, aye. Has anyone ever seen Strange Brew?
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
AgNO3+skin→brown stain
I have a large stain on my middle finger. It's brown. It's splotchy. It won't go away. The D-Mar (aka Dr. Martyr) says that it will take ten to fourteen days for it to come out. It's actually silver nitrate , AgNO3, that has reacted with sunlight to create a brownish-purplish-blackish-grayish color. The same chemical is used in black and white photography film.
I'm not sure why I told you about that. I was looking at my hands, resting gently on the keyboard, trying to think of a profound thing to post when I saw the stain glaring at me. I look like a preschooler who just learned how to use a marker, and didn't use it so successfully. People give me the stink eye when they see my stain. It hurts my feelings. I wish I could yell at them, "I know...I have a large brown stain on my finger and it makes me look ridiculous! But rest assured, it is only silver nitrate that I spilled on my finger during Chemistry and it will vanish within two weeks!" But then I would look more ridiculous then before.
So here's my far out connection. Tattoo's are like stains. It's true. They are splotchy, brown stains that won't go away...ever. Yet, as before, tattoo's are given a bad rap. I have a brown stain from chemistry class. That's all. Not because I'm deficient at using a marker. I want a tattoo. If I got one, it would be because I want to begin to start to define who I am. I want to have a sense of self identification. Though, some people, who have authority over most of my decisions, see it otherwise. They say that it's ridiculous to put ink in your skin. My brown stain, as Dr. Martyr put it, is a "badge of great courage". A tattoo, to me, is a badge, a symbol, almost like a scar that I give myself to identify who I am as a person.
That wasn't profound, I know. Give me a break, I'm only seventeen. I had to say what I had to say. I'll leave the profound words up to those who can write them.
I'm not sure why I told you about that. I was looking at my hands, resting gently on the keyboard, trying to think of a profound thing to post when I saw the stain glaring at me. I look like a preschooler who just learned how to use a marker, and didn't use it so successfully. People give me the stink eye when they see my stain. It hurts my feelings. I wish I could yell at them, "I know...I have a large brown stain on my finger and it makes me look ridiculous! But rest assured, it is only silver nitrate that I spilled on my finger during Chemistry and it will vanish within two weeks!" But then I would look more ridiculous then before.
So here's my far out connection. Tattoo's are like stains. It's true. They are splotchy, brown stains that won't go away...ever. Yet, as before, tattoo's are given a bad rap. I have a brown stain from chemistry class. That's all. Not because I'm deficient at using a marker. I want a tattoo. If I got one, it would be because I want to begin to start to define who I am. I want to have a sense of self identification. Though, some people, who have authority over most of my decisions, see it otherwise. They say that it's ridiculous to put ink in your skin. My brown stain, as Dr. Martyr put it, is a "badge of great courage". A tattoo, to me, is a badge, a symbol, almost like a scar that I give myself to identify who I am as a person.
That wasn't profound, I know. Give me a break, I'm only seventeen. I had to say what I had to say. I'll leave the profound words up to those who can write them.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
ranting...there's nothing better to do
I regret to inform you that I, Ryan John Haagenson, was completely incorrect. It's hard for me to admit it, yet, after an email I received from Chipotle, I found out that the recipe for the chicken at Chipotle hasn't changed. Only the prices. I hope that you will continue to enjoy Chipotle burritos as you always have. (and I'm sure you didn't need my advice on that one, you probably have been eating Chipotle like you always have)
I have to ride in a bus today. I'm going to Colorado Springs. I plan to do homework on the way, but if you know me, you know that I really do get quite car sick if I try to do something while riding in a car. I don't want to puke. My team--whom I'm riding down with, hence the whole bus thing, which, by the way, looks like a space ship--My team has a game scheduled. The first round of the State 5A playoffs; Cheyenne Mountain vs. Alexander Dawson. Our top three scorers aren't playing. One with a torn ACL, one with a torn ligament that holds your knee cap in place, and one who is...well...sick. We started the year with four captains, and now we are down to one. Ouch!
This game that we are suppose to have, though, is scheduled to be played in Colorado Springs, which is right int he middle of a snow storm and thunder storm. Here's my deal. I'm excited to play, but if I have to ride down there, suit up, warm up, hear the game is canceled, get back on the bus and drive back home, I am going to freak. And here's my thinking, Cheyenne Mountain wants us to do exactly that. Even if they knew our game was going to be canceled, they would still have us drive 2 hours to tell us so. That way, we as a team, are irritated, tired and not in the playoff mindset anymore. That would piss me off.
One other thing that pisses me off. The fact that this is my first post in over two weeks. I am a weak sister. Sorry if you actually were waiting on me to post. I don't think anyone really was though so it's not a big deal.
I have to ride in a bus today. I'm going to Colorado Springs. I plan to do homework on the way, but if you know me, you know that I really do get quite car sick if I try to do something while riding in a car. I don't want to puke. My team--whom I'm riding down with, hence the whole bus thing, which, by the way, looks like a space ship--My team has a game scheduled. The first round of the State 5A playoffs; Cheyenne Mountain vs. Alexander Dawson. Our top three scorers aren't playing. One with a torn ACL, one with a torn ligament that holds your knee cap in place, and one who is...well...sick. We started the year with four captains, and now we are down to one. Ouch!
This game that we are suppose to have, though, is scheduled to be played in Colorado Springs, which is right int he middle of a snow storm and thunder storm. Here's my deal. I'm excited to play, but if I have to ride down there, suit up, warm up, hear the game is canceled, get back on the bus and drive back home, I am going to freak. And here's my thinking, Cheyenne Mountain wants us to do exactly that. Even if they knew our game was going to be canceled, they would still have us drive 2 hours to tell us so. That way, we as a team, are irritated, tired and not in the playoff mindset anymore. That would piss me off.
One other thing that pisses me off. The fact that this is my first post in over two weeks. I am a weak sister. Sorry if you actually were waiting on me to post. I don't think anyone really was though so it's not a big deal.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
sometimes i want to cry
A letter to the head management of Chipotle-
It hurts. I went in on monday. I wanted my borrito and yes I do feel like I have the right to call it my borrito because when you eat it three times a week for years on end, you get the feeling of ownership. Chicken borrito, no beans and extra rice, corn salsa, cheese and a side of guacamole with a Arnold Palmer, half ice tea and half lemonade, with two lemons squeezed in.
But nonetheless, I was going through the line, ordering my borrito, this time without guacamole because I didn't have enough money. When I arrived at the end of my journey through the line, the cashier tells me 6.34$ at first it was simply uttter confusion. When I was told that the chicken borrito prices rose by 55 cents because it wasn't the normal, and impecably delicous chinken any more, my confusion turned into sheer outrage. I didn't turn on the chashier, they are very nice people. My favorite one is the short older lady who always smiles when I come. You should give her a raise because she knows my order without me telling her. But no I didn't turn on them, I didn't turn on the manager because I knew. I knew it wasn't thier fault. It wasn't thier choice. No David, Dawn and Joe decided something. They took thier chiikcen out of the line; the backbone of the meats, the heart of thier armada on the line, the reason I go to Chipotle and not to Qudoba or any other borrito place. Oh, trust me, I have choices. Qudoba, Santiago's, Illegal pete's and the quite miraculous...Big City Borrito. But no, I go to Chipotle. My dietary needs involved Chipotle. Yet now, I'm not sure.
Two main things bother me. The chicken, which I'm assuming to be one of the top two selling meat tiems at chipotle, was taken of the line. Retired for an unreleased amount of time. It was replaced by a new "Marinated Chicken" and personally...I'm not a big fan. I'm sure many people think that it is delicous. I trust that you guys have reason for the switch. But please, for the long time fan who makes 40 dollars a week and spends close to half of it on Chipotle, let me have my original chicken borrito. Give the customer the choice.
"I would like a chicken borrito," says the customer.
"Marinated or Original," says the line worker.
It's real simple. And I think alot of people would appriciate it. Oh, and for the other main thing that bugs me, well that i have to pay above six dollars. Please, I'm okay with a price raise. I understand completley. But you took away what I loved about Chipotle, relaced it with something not as good and want to charge me 55 cents more becasue it's "marinated". If I could still give the chashier a five and a one and be able to imidiateley turn for the drinks, I would be less frustrated. But now I have to give seven, and receive a hunk of chagne back, that I dont' know what to do with.
From a huge fan. Honestly I have gone out of my way many times to make sure that I have Chipotle and not a Qudoba or wherever. I have gotten in intense arguments about witch place is better and I have always sided with Chipotle. I am a Chipotle lover. So from me to you, personally, bring back the original chicken and if or when you do, let it be under six dollars. It's a reasonable price. We both can agree.
Thank you very much for your time and consideration. I honestly appreciate it very much.
-Ryan Haagenson
If you feel the same as I, and I know you do. Please go to www.chipotle.com, go to thier "speak" section, and tell them what you think. They promise that they will personally respond. Let the Original Ckicken movement begin.
It hurts. I went in on monday. I wanted my borrito and yes I do feel like I have the right to call it my borrito because when you eat it three times a week for years on end, you get the feeling of ownership. Chicken borrito, no beans and extra rice, corn salsa, cheese and a side of guacamole with a Arnold Palmer, half ice tea and half lemonade, with two lemons squeezed in.
But nonetheless, I was going through the line, ordering my borrito, this time without guacamole because I didn't have enough money. When I arrived at the end of my journey through the line, the cashier tells me 6.34$ at first it was simply uttter confusion. When I was told that the chicken borrito prices rose by 55 cents because it wasn't the normal, and impecably delicous chinken any more, my confusion turned into sheer outrage. I didn't turn on the chashier, they are very nice people. My favorite one is the short older lady who always smiles when I come. You should give her a raise because she knows my order without me telling her. But no I didn't turn on them, I didn't turn on the manager because I knew. I knew it wasn't thier fault. It wasn't thier choice. No David, Dawn and Joe decided something. They took thier chiikcen out of the line; the backbone of the meats, the heart of thier armada on the line, the reason I go to Chipotle and not to Qudoba or any other borrito place. Oh, trust me, I have choices. Qudoba, Santiago's, Illegal pete's and the quite miraculous...Big City Borrito. But no, I go to Chipotle. My dietary needs involved Chipotle. Yet now, I'm not sure.
Two main things bother me. The chicken, which I'm assuming to be one of the top two selling meat tiems at chipotle, was taken of the line. Retired for an unreleased amount of time. It was replaced by a new "Marinated Chicken" and personally...I'm not a big fan. I'm sure many people think that it is delicous. I trust that you guys have reason for the switch. But please, for the long time fan who makes 40 dollars a week and spends close to half of it on Chipotle, let me have my original chicken borrito. Give the customer the choice.
"I would like a chicken borrito," says the customer.
"Marinated or Original," says the line worker.
It's real simple. And I think alot of people would appriciate it. Oh, and for the other main thing that bugs me, well that i have to pay above six dollars. Please, I'm okay with a price raise. I understand completley. But you took away what I loved about Chipotle, relaced it with something not as good and want to charge me 55 cents more becasue it's "marinated". If I could still give the chashier a five and a one and be able to imidiateley turn for the drinks, I would be less frustrated. But now I have to give seven, and receive a hunk of chagne back, that I dont' know what to do with.
From a huge fan. Honestly I have gone out of my way many times to make sure that I have Chipotle and not a Qudoba or wherever. I have gotten in intense arguments about witch place is better and I have always sided with Chipotle. I am a Chipotle lover. So from me to you, personally, bring back the original chicken and if or when you do, let it be under six dollars. It's a reasonable price. We both can agree.
Thank you very much for your time and consideration. I honestly appreciate it very much.
-Ryan Haagenson
If you feel the same as I, and I know you do. Please go to www.chipotle.com, go to thier "speak" section, and tell them what you think. They promise that they will personally respond. Let the Original Ckicken movement begin.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
something else?
I hear the summer afternoons, full of boards on wheels, Frisbees in the air and trips through the backcountry, calling my name already. It’s rough, you know? I have the ACT testing in a week, a Chemistry midterm to study for and a ten page paper to write for English class detailing on how the 60’s affected Kurt Vonnegut’s writing style in the book Slaughter House Five. Yet, all I can think about is six weeks left…six weeks left…six weeks left.
Everyone told me that your junior year will be the hardest to get through. I am only a testimony to that statement. Each day that goes by, reminds me how much closer I am getting to summer. I feel my motivation draining as we speak. My inspiration…depleting. My will power…going, going…gone. Abracadabra…poof. Now you see me, now you don’t. You get the picture.
I heard a question the other day. If you had your financial situation secure for the rest of your life, what would you do? What you answer would be what you should pursue in college and for a career. I have a problem though. I would just play my guitar, go backpacking, ski and really just do what ever I do besides school. I’m not sure how to pursue any of that and if I did, I really don’t think that I could live off of what salary I receive. Bummer.
I’m coming to an epiphany. Really I am. I feel it coming at my like a train in the night. Hopefully Amos Lee is on board and we can ride home together. I’ll pass on the cocaine though, and really I don’t like coffee either. Sorry if you didn’t get that joke. I have to decide though. Is school something that I need to put my heart into? Everyone tells me so, but some of the biggest mistakes that people make are made because everyone was telling them that it was the right thing. I can do well at school. Very well, if I want to. But honestly, so can anybody. Just because I can succeed in mathematics and science, does that mean I should? I can also mow lawns real well. Maybe I should be a landscaper? I heard they make good money.
I know it’s slightly ridiculous that I’m questioning whether school is right for me or not. Of course I’m going to go to college. I’m going to have a career someday, but I don’t know if math or science is where my heart is. I don’t know if getting my masters degree has a real value to me. I don’t know if taking all of these AP classes will benefit me in the future. What value are they anyway? I will forget most of what I learned in them soon. In the future, when I’m trying to teach my kids how to ride a bike, or throw a Frisbee, or when I’m somewhere on the other side of the world on a mission trip building a house, or when 60 years old and pondering on the thought of writing a book, I’m real sure that Calculus won’t help. Physics, not really a huge help. I know that just the fact that I went through such rigorous situations will help my character to grow and develop. But still...I’d rather do something else. Yeah, something else. Is that a career choice?
Everyone told me that your junior year will be the hardest to get through. I am only a testimony to that statement. Each day that goes by, reminds me how much closer I am getting to summer. I feel my motivation draining as we speak. My inspiration…depleting. My will power…going, going…gone. Abracadabra…poof. Now you see me, now you don’t. You get the picture.
I heard a question the other day. If you had your financial situation secure for the rest of your life, what would you do? What you answer would be what you should pursue in college and for a career. I have a problem though. I would just play my guitar, go backpacking, ski and really just do what ever I do besides school. I’m not sure how to pursue any of that and if I did, I really don’t think that I could live off of what salary I receive. Bummer.
I’m coming to an epiphany. Really I am. I feel it coming at my like a train in the night. Hopefully Amos Lee is on board and we can ride home together. I’ll pass on the cocaine though, and really I don’t like coffee either. Sorry if you didn’t get that joke. I have to decide though. Is school something that I need to put my heart into? Everyone tells me so, but some of the biggest mistakes that people make are made because everyone was telling them that it was the right thing. I can do well at school. Very well, if I want to. But honestly, so can anybody. Just because I can succeed in mathematics and science, does that mean I should? I can also mow lawns real well. Maybe I should be a landscaper? I heard they make good money.
I know it’s slightly ridiculous that I’m questioning whether school is right for me or not. Of course I’m going to go to college. I’m going to have a career someday, but I don’t know if math or science is where my heart is. I don’t know if getting my masters degree has a real value to me. I don’t know if taking all of these AP classes will benefit me in the future. What value are they anyway? I will forget most of what I learned in them soon. In the future, when I’m trying to teach my kids how to ride a bike, or throw a Frisbee, or when I’m somewhere on the other side of the world on a mission trip building a house, or when 60 years old and pondering on the thought of writing a book, I’m real sure that Calculus won’t help. Physics, not really a huge help. I know that just the fact that I went through such rigorous situations will help my character to grow and develop. But still...I’d rather do something else. Yeah, something else. Is that a career choice?
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