i miss my bed

I think that I have only slept in my own bed about eleven times so far this summer. The count isn't suppose to get to much higher in the near future either. I've gone to New Zealand for two weeks, backpacking for a few days, to Mississippi for ten days and tomorrow I'm going to Portland, Oregon for another ten days. It's a glorious thing.

I gave it some thought. I spend so much time at home during the school year, that I really don't want to during the summer. So I planned trip after trip, trying to not be at home as much as I can. Not that home is boring or anything, oh wait yeah it is.

I'm going to be a senior next year. The thought of being eighteen, nearly out of the house and going to college soon, kind of really freaks me out. It made me start thinking about my childhood. I just hope that I didn't miss anything. I hope that I got all that I could fit into these years and it really does scare me that I may not have. I'm starting to realize that high school is almost over. The time in my life that I thought would last forever, didn't seem that long.

Though I can tell you one thing. I can't even begin to describe the gratitude I have for the friends who are in my life. The blessings that all of them have given me are enormous and have made me into who I am today. They're the reason that I don't want high school to be over with. They're the reason why I hope I didn't miss out on anything during my high school years. Have you ever had on of those serenity moments. When all your friends are together, laughing, enjoying each others company. Rob Bell describes it well when he says that in those moments, it seems that no matter what happens to you, or what will happen to you, everything will be alright. It's a moment of sheer joy, and pure happiness. I love those moments, and its only with a close group of friends like mine that you can have those. I'm excited for what is out there for me. For what my future holds and for what God has to show me. I just don't want to get to caught up in the future. I want to enjoy now.

i suck at titling

I couldn't fall asleep last night for some reason. I was dead tired, but really excited because my bed was so comfortable and I hadn't slept in it for ten days. I think that excitement kept me awake. Any who, I wrote this poem while lying in my bed. I don't write a lot of poetry. Really only when I'm inspired but I really liked this one so I thought that I would share.

Oh yeah, and I don't really write down any of my poems. Actually, this will be the first. I usually just memorize them, until I'm write new ones. So I don't know how to really use stanzas or punctuation properly. Sorry about that.

Between the trees and the ground,
lies a heart that beats to the rhythm of a grown man,
driven to passion,
bypassing eloquence with standardized authenticity,
telling itself that its broken and it will break again,
and people will stand by in awe,
because you can't tell them why,

Near the edge lies a heart,
that beats to the pace of the wind,
blowing it to the left, to the right,
and to the left again,
fallow, unscathed,
it cuts with the grain,

In my mind there beats a heart,
Like the fire that rages inside of it,
faster and faster until it distorts,
into something miraculous,
something of design,
of purpose and truth,

I wish I held a heart like that,
yet mine lies under a tree near the edge,
until I have faith in it,
Like he does,
then it will beat again